I decided to ramp up the blog a little bit and change some things around. You guys enjoying the changes? I enjoy your feedback, so here's a strawpoll.
In other news, I'm working on 9 years, and I'll tell you guys when I'm going to put that on /r9k/
I'm also making a discord just so we can all be a little less lonley. It should be up pretty soon, but I'm just preparing it at the moment.
Wednesday, May 31, 2017
Monday, May 29, 2017
Ghosts of the past
I saw your mom today. She always seemed happy, same with you das, but ever since the accident there has been this somberness about them. I talked to her about graduation and college, I'm sorry you didn't get to experience that. I can't believe I haven't talked to you in a year. I should have played cards with you last time, I'm sorry. Im so sorry for not giving you your shirts back, I'm sorry for being selfish. Goddamn it I iced you man! I miss your handshake and smile. Why? Why did you have to cross then? Two more seconds could have meant 40 more years. You were the embodiment of everything good in the world, and with your passing that has died in me too. I saw an f4u by your grave. I wish I could nerd out with you about planes, about history. Hell, even about Star Wars like the good old times. I miss you, and our drifting apart hurts me all the more. Maybe one day I'll finally do it, I'll finally tie that noose and join you. Until then, I'll work, and I'll try not to let the sadness through. We all loved you, my friend.
I posted that letter about ghastly on /r9k/ last night in a letter writing thread. I was just so overcome with emotion, as the last time I saw him was a year ago today. His mom was at my graduation party, and we talked. She seemed sad yet very loving twords me. It's like I'm one of the last parts of her son. Her son that never got to graduate, go to college, and live life. I'm sorry ghastly.... I really really sorry
I posted that letter about ghastly on /r9k/ last night in a letter writing thread. I was just so overcome with emotion, as the last time I saw him was a year ago today. His mom was at my graduation party, and we talked. She seemed sad yet very loving twords me. It's like I'm one of the last parts of her son. Her son that never got to graduate, go to college, and live life. I'm sorry ghastly.... I really really sorry
Monday, May 22, 2017
A conversation with a Co-Worker
>Be me
>Work at supermarket
>Closing time
>No one is around
>Store is empty
>Closing down the meat department
>Already cleaned all my stuff up
>Meat cutter is closing with me
>Let's call him Paras
>Paras is a dude in his 50s
>Kinda crazy
>Really fun guy to work with
>Sometimes decides to juggle balls of meat
>Very casual, go with the flow kinda guy
>Apparently a huge drug dealer back in the day
>Retired
>He returned to meat cutting because it "called to him"
>Decide to ask him if he wanted to be a meat cutter as a kid
>"No, but I already lived my childhood dream"
>I ask him what that was about
>Paras said it was to play baseball
>Apparently he played baseball for the Padres for a couple of years
>Used meat cutting to help pay for his expences
>He was mostly on the practice team, but still did some stuff
>Quit when his kids were born
>He started talking about his wife
>His highschool sweetheart
>Married for 20 years
>He goes silent
>He starts talking about one of his kids
>She was born with spina bifida and cerebral palsy
>I glace at him for a moment
>I can see the pain in his eyes
>I almost ask him if she's doing ok, but he answers that for me
>"She died when she was 9" paras says solemnly
>Silence
>"I guess I really never got over it"
>Think back to Ghastly
>Tell him most people never get over the death of a loved one
>Tell him about Ghastly and his affect on me
>He understands
>We know each other's pain
>The pain of loss only death can provide
>Want to lighten up the topic
>Talk to him more about his wife
>He goes quiet again
>"I walked in on her cheating on me"
>This man's highschool sweetheart of 20 years
>Cheats on him in front of his eyes
>Gets pregnant
>Paras said he walked out after that
>His other kids understand
>Divorce happens
>That was 9 years ago
>After a couple years of retirement he comes back to meat cutting
>A couple years later I meet him
>His story hit me hard
>This man, living the time of his life
>Living the dream
>Playing baseball
>Having the girl he loved
>Having a wonderful family
>Crushed by reality
>Yet he continues to smile and joke around
>It all makes sense now
>Paras is the sad clown
>Always trying to make people laugh
>So one day, he can forget the pain
>We close up
>We walk out
>The next day he's back to his usual self
>Jolly, always cracking jokes
>But I see the cracks
>I can never unsee the cracks
>Work at supermarket
>Closing time
>No one is around
>Store is empty
>Closing down the meat department
>Already cleaned all my stuff up
>Meat cutter is closing with me
>Let's call him Paras
>Paras is a dude in his 50s
>Kinda crazy
>Really fun guy to work with
>Sometimes decides to juggle balls of meat
>Very casual, go with the flow kinda guy
>Apparently a huge drug dealer back in the day
>Retired
>He returned to meat cutting because it "called to him"
>Decide to ask him if he wanted to be a meat cutter as a kid
>"No, but I already lived my childhood dream"
>I ask him what that was about
>Paras said it was to play baseball
>Apparently he played baseball for the Padres for a couple of years
>Used meat cutting to help pay for his expences
>He was mostly on the practice team, but still did some stuff
>Quit when his kids were born
>He started talking about his wife
>His highschool sweetheart
>Married for 20 years
>He goes silent
>He starts talking about one of his kids
>She was born with spina bifida and cerebral palsy
>I glace at him for a moment
>I can see the pain in his eyes
>I almost ask him if she's doing ok, but he answers that for me
>"She died when she was 9" paras says solemnly
>Silence
>"I guess I really never got over it"
>Think back to Ghastly
>Tell him most people never get over the death of a loved one
>Tell him about Ghastly and his affect on me
>He understands
>We know each other's pain
>The pain of loss only death can provide
>Want to lighten up the topic
>Talk to him more about his wife
>He goes quiet again
>"I walked in on her cheating on me"
>This man's highschool sweetheart of 20 years
>Cheats on him in front of his eyes
>Gets pregnant
>Paras said he walked out after that
>His other kids understand
>Divorce happens
>That was 9 years ago
>After a couple years of retirement he comes back to meat cutting
>A couple years later I meet him
>His story hit me hard
>This man, living the time of his life
>Living the dream
>Playing baseball
>Having the girl he loved
>Having a wonderful family
>Crushed by reality
>Yet he continues to smile and joke around
>It all makes sense now
>Paras is the sad clown
>Always trying to make people laugh
>So one day, he can forget the pain
>We close up
>We walk out
>The next day he's back to his usual self
>Jolly, always cracking jokes
>But I see the cracks
>I can never unsee the cracks
Thursday, May 4, 2017
Life update: April 2017
It's been a long stressful month for me. Between exams, work, the play, I haven't posted much. Don't worry though! I haven't forgotten about you guys.
So let's get down to business. In April, my school put on a play. It's a little strange that this could possibly be my last production, as I wasn't too excited for it. And then I fucked up, big time. I turned my request off days into work at the wrong place, and they scheduled me all week. Shit. Eventually I got that fixed, but that whole debacle sucked ass.
Work has been ok, there's been some interesting moments with my coworkers. Though, I do work around 31 hours a week, so you best believe I'm tired.
I also got put on adderall the other day. It's been pretty good at keeping me concentrated and focused. I am a little worried about taking meds, as I've heard so many horror stories about addiction and death because of them.
On the love front, not much has changed. Pika's sister's birthday is coming up, and I'm hoping to try to cheer her up somehow, she always feels down on that day. I think I'll try to send her a care package, just to make sure she's ok. It's kinda sad actually, at this point her sister has been dead longer than she was alive. On the Clefairy front, nothing much happened. We talk every now and then but it's just small talk. Sandshrew, on the other hand, is a whole different story. We've been talking more, joking around and just having a good time. She seems enthusiastic when I ask her out to lunch sometimes, but she gets kinda disappointed when she realizes she's doing something. I hope that works out, I've been really happy when I'm with her and she makes me feel great. She's pretty fucking awesome, I can only hope she thinks I'm ok. I'm having a party for color guard and percussion tomorrow, who knows, maybe something will happen? Probably not, either way I'm going to enjoy myself because I'm with her.
So let's get down to business. In April, my school put on a play. It's a little strange that this could possibly be my last production, as I wasn't too excited for it. And then I fucked up, big time. I turned my request off days into work at the wrong place, and they scheduled me all week. Shit. Eventually I got that fixed, but that whole debacle sucked ass.
Work has been ok, there's been some interesting moments with my coworkers. Though, I do work around 31 hours a week, so you best believe I'm tired.
I also got put on adderall the other day. It's been pretty good at keeping me concentrated and focused. I am a little worried about taking meds, as I've heard so many horror stories about addiction and death because of them.
On the love front, not much has changed. Pika's sister's birthday is coming up, and I'm hoping to try to cheer her up somehow, she always feels down on that day. I think I'll try to send her a care package, just to make sure she's ok. It's kinda sad actually, at this point her sister has been dead longer than she was alive. On the Clefairy front, nothing much happened. We talk every now and then but it's just small talk. Sandshrew, on the other hand, is a whole different story. We've been talking more, joking around and just having a good time. She seems enthusiastic when I ask her out to lunch sometimes, but she gets kinda disappointed when she realizes she's doing something. I hope that works out, I've been really happy when I'm with her and she makes me feel great. She's pretty fucking awesome, I can only hope she thinks I'm ok. I'm having a party for color guard and percussion tomorrow, who knows, maybe something will happen? Probably not, either way I'm going to enjoy myself because I'm with her.
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