Liking the changes?

I decided to ramp up the blog a little bit and change some things around. You guys enjoying the changes? I enjoy your feedback, so here's a strawpoll.

In other news, I'm working on 9 years, and I'll tell you guys when I'm going to put that on /r9k/
I'm also making a discord just so we can all be a little less lonley. It should be up pretty soon, but I'm just preparing it at the moment.

Ghosts of the past

I saw your mom today. She always seemed happy, same with you das, but ever since the accident there has been this somberness about them. I talked to her about graduation and college, I'm sorry you didn't get to experience that. I can't believe I haven't talked to you in a year. I should have played cards with you last time, I'm sorry. Im so sorry for not giving you your shirts back, I'm sorry for being selfish. Goddamn it I iced you man! I miss your handshake and smile. Why? Why did you have to cross then? Two more seconds could have meant 40 more years. You were the embodiment of everything good in the world, and with your passing that has died in me too. I saw an f4u by your grave. I wish I could nerd out with you about planes, about history. Hell, even about Star Wars like the good old times. I miss you, and our drifting apart hurts me all the more. Maybe one day I'll finally do it, I'll finally tie that noose and join you. Until then, I'll work, and I'll try not to let the sadness through. We all loved you, my friend.

I posted that letter about ghastly on /r9k/ last night in a letter writing thread. I was just so overcome with emotion, as the last time I saw him was a year ago today. His mom was at my graduation party, and we talked. She seemed sad yet very loving twords me. It's like I'm one of the last parts of her son. Her son that never got to graduate, go to college, and live life. I'm sorry ghastly.... I really really sorry

A conversation with a Co-Worker

>Be me
>Work at supermarket
>Closing time
>No one is around
>Store is empty
>Closing down the meat department
>Already cleaned all my stuff up
>Meat cutter is closing with me
>Let's call him Paras
>Paras is a dude in his 50s
>Kinda crazy
>Really fun guy to work with
>Sometimes decides to juggle balls of meat
>Very casual, go with the flow kinda guy
>Apparently a huge drug dealer back in the day
>Retired
>He returned to meat cutting because it "called to him"
>Decide to ask him if he wanted to be a meat cutter as a kid
>"No, but I already lived my childhood dream"
>I ask him what that was about
>Paras said it was to play baseball
>Apparently he played baseball for the Padres for a couple of years
>Used meat cutting to help pay for his expences
>He was mostly on the practice team, but still did some stuff
>Quit when his kids were born
>He started talking about his wife
>His highschool sweetheart
>Married for 20 years
>He goes silent
>He starts talking about one of his kids
>She was born with spina bifida and cerebral palsy 
>I glace at him for a moment
>I can see the pain in his eyes
>I almost ask him if she's doing ok, but he answers that for me
>"She died when she was 9" paras says solemnly
>Silence
>"I guess I really never got over it"
>Think back to Ghastly
>Tell him most people never get over the death of a loved one
>Tell him about Ghastly and his affect on me
>He understands
>We know each other's pain
>The pain of loss only death can provide
>Want to lighten up the topic
>Talk to him more about his wife
>He goes quiet again
>"I walked in on her cheating on me" 
>This man's highschool sweetheart of 20 years
>Cheats on him in front of his eyes
>Gets pregnant
>Paras said he walked out after that
>His other kids understand
>Divorce happens
>That was 9 years ago
>After a couple years of retirement he comes back to meat cutting
>A couple years later I meet him
>His story hit me hard
>This man, living the time of his life
>Living the dream
>Playing baseball
>Having the girl he loved
>Having a wonderful family
>Crushed by reality
>Yet he continues to smile and joke around
>It all makes sense now
>Paras is the sad clown
>Always trying to make people laugh
>So one day, he can forget the pain
>We close up
>We walk out
>The next day he's back to his usual self
>Jolly, always cracking jokes
>But I see the cracks
>I can never unsee the cracks

Life update: April 2017

It's been a long stressful month for me. Between exams, work, the play, I haven't posted much. Don't worry though! I haven't forgotten about you guys.

So let's get down to business. In April, my school put on a play. It's a little strange that this could possibly be my last production, as I wasn't too excited for it. And then I fucked up, big time. I turned my request off days into work at the wrong place, and they scheduled me all week. Shit. Eventually I got that fixed, but that whole debacle sucked ass.
Work has been ok, there's been some interesting moments with my coworkers. Though, I do work around 31 hours a week, so you best believe I'm tired.

I also got put on adderall the other day. It's been pretty good at keeping me concentrated and focused. I am a little worried about taking meds, as I've heard so many horror stories about addiction and death because of them.

On the love front, not much has changed. Pika's sister's birthday is coming up, and I'm hoping to try to cheer her up somehow, she always feels down on that day. I think I'll try to send her a care package, just to make sure she's ok. It's kinda sad actually, at this point her sister has been dead longer than she was alive. On the Clefairy front, nothing much happened. We talk every now and then but it's just small talk. Sandshrew, on the other hand, is a whole different story. We've been talking more, joking around and just having a good time. She seems enthusiastic when I ask her out to lunch sometimes, but she gets kinda disappointed when she realizes she's doing something. I hope that works out, I've been really happy when I'm with her and she makes me feel great. She's pretty fucking awesome, I can only hope she thinks I'm ok. I'm having a party for color guard and percussion tomorrow, who knows, maybe something will happen? Probably not, either way I'm going to enjoy myself because I'm with her.

Life Update: March 2017

March was a doozy for me. The first half of the month, while I was on spring break, I decided to get a job. I found one at a local grocery store in the meat department, and it's been absolutely soul sucking. But, at the very least, I like my co-workers, and it gives me some good stories of terrible customers to share with you guys. The second half of the month was taken up by color guard stuff. I am still friends with sandshrew, the lesbian, but I don't things are going to work out between her and I. She's still a great person, but she's just not into me. But hey, you lose some and you win some. Speaking of winning some, my guard team got 2nd place overall in our division in competition! Yet, there is much  more than that. At championships I saw this really cute girl, let's call her Clefairy, who just so happened to be on the team that beat us. I decided "why the hell not" and simply walked up to her, congratulated her, told her she was attractive, and asked for her number. She was rather flattered and impressed by my confidence, but she could only give me her instagram. Fortunately, through instagram, I was able to get her snapchat and we've been talking every day ever since. One of the most intriguing things is that on her instagram, she had pictures of her and her ex-boyfriend. At the time, I didn't know if she was currently dating this guy, so I casually brought it up, and she told me that they broke up like a week before. Curiously, the next day ALL photos of her ex were taken off of  Clefairy's instagram. I don't know if that had anything to do with me, but if it did, that's a VERY good sign. I've talked to pika a little over the month, she still cares about me deeply she says and she's still dating Machamp. Our conversations have devolved into us telling each other "I miss you," which I don't mind because it's true: I miss her. I was hoping she'd come up for spring break but it looks as if that is not happening. I don't know, pika continues to perplex me sometimes. Until next time, I'll keep you guys updated on Clefairy. Who knows what the future may hold?

Echoes of the past

March 31 is truly a bittersweet day for me. "Why?", you ask? Well shut the  fuck up and I'll tell you why! You see kids, three years ago, on march 31 2014, clone wars adventures shut down. "What the hell is that?" "Why is that important?" "Are you a faggot?", you cry, to which I reply STOP ASKING SO MANY QUESTIONS!

Now, where was I? Oh yes, clone wars adventures (or cwa for short) was an MMO game in which you got to play with characters from the tv show of the same name. I used to play that game religiously as a child, I had a lifetime membership, had bought almost every single item in game, and had over 10000 friends. I remember showing people my rare droids and items, it felt amazing. It really got me interested in gaming. Of course, it was really one of the only things that got me through all the harassment and bullying at school. In real life I was a loser, in game I was Dex Extra! Leader of the E.C.G. Crime fighter and all around bad ass! I actually wrote a lot of fiction around my character and posted it online. I still look back and laugh at what a Mary Sue Dex was, and how shitty my writing was. Granted, CWA had its faults, but I was heartbroken when it was shut down. It was what got me through the day half the time. All those boy-scout camp outs of just doing dishes because everyone else forced me to, all those times when people would abuse me, it was all worth it because later I could get on and play CWA.

Clone wars adventures had its faults, it was a rather generic MMO, but to me, it will always and forever be my favorite game.

P.s., if anyone has played this game, or know someone who has, or known me in this game, or, hell, even had a similar experice with a game, I would love to get into a Skype call and shoot the shit. I always love hearing people's stories, and I believe everyone should have someone to listen to theirs.

Fanfiction

So, the other day a couple of friends of mine were shooting the shit in color guard class, and we got to joking about me writing erotic fan fiction about them. This of course devolved into me actually going through with it on their request, so I decided to change their names (to pokemon of course) and post it up here. (And yes, that is the same Raichu from the greentext)

Obviously, very NSFW

I would like to start with a prayer for our souls so we do not burn in the fires of hell  

Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen 

And now, I tell a tale of gratuitous sex and smut. May God have mercy on us.... 

It was a thick, sticky, sweltering summer day at Meowth's house. She fanned herself to try to keep cool. The air conditioner had been broken for weeks and no one could seem to be able to fix it. "Ug, it's so damn hot in here," Eevee said, taking off her shirt to try to remain cool. "I know, I told my mom to find someone to fix it but she said she already did," Meowth responded, already out of her clothes. It was normal for the two friends to be in their undergarments around each other, yet there was an odd tension in the air neither of them could quite put their fingers on. Eevee plopped down next to her scantily clad friend as Meowth browsed snapchat. She peered over Meowth's shoulder to see whom the girl was stalking at that moment. Pictures rolled past like slideshows; people out with friends, fluffy kittens, stupid inane memes all flashed before their eyes. But one image seemed to be burned in both their memories. "Hang on," Eevee pleaded, "Go back to Raichu's story." Meowth frantically scrolled back, knowing full well why her friend was so enamored by this particular story. She finally opened it, and on it was only one picture: a scantily clad girl dressed in a cat costume. The duo both gazed in lust at the photo as the timer ticked down, before finally disappearing. "Go back again," Eevee demanded. This time, the two decided to screenshot the photo, even though they knew their  friend would soon find out about their scandalous deed. "She looks cute," Meowth purred. "More than cute," Eevee sighed. An awkward silence had befallen the friends as they stared starry eyed at their slutty little cat girl (Oh dear God I just vomited, but the show must go on!).  After a solid minute or so admiring the Asian's shapely body, Meowth suddenly noticed Eevee's breasts dangling behind her head. She was jealous of the redhead's natural size, yet she wished to do more with them than just use them as a pillow. She felt her head sink into the flesh, as Eevee's bra became more and more uncomfortable to wear. "Hey Meowth," Eevee said quietly. "What?" Meowth cooed. "You know how we always joke about being lesbians?" 

"Yeah" 

"I don't know, right now I just feel-" 

Eevee needed not say anything more. Meowth gazed into her deep blue eyes and unhooked her bra. Eevee's bosom spilled out, no longer caged by the undergarment. Meowth lustfully and playfully tweaked her nipple, which elicited a squeak from Eevee. Eevee could feel the heat in the room rising, but this heat didn't come from some faulty air conditioner. It was a burning, a gnawing in her loins, a need for satisfaction. Ferociously she tackled her friend, ripping off all her clothes. Meowth tried to scream, but all that came out was a sexual moan. Eevee slammed her lips into Meowth's face, and began to stick her tongue down her throat. Meowth felt choked, dominated, yet somehow she felt this was right. As Eevee's tongue trickled down Meowth's throat, Meowth's hand began to probe... other regions of her body. She felt her slit moisten as she let hand slip southward (I'm cringing so hard.... I'm so sorry). Meowth felt a welling, a building up in her very soul, begging for release. Eevee was feeling a similar yearning as she smothered her partner with her tongue. The two moaned in unison as they approached the tipping point. They could feel the heat  that eliminated from each other's bodies. They both cried out in a sudden burst of passion as they came with a noise so powerful it shook the room. The duo lay in a stupor for the next few moments, confused about the nature of this encounter, and suddenly remembering they were both in committed relationships.  

"Never talk abou-" 

"Agreed" 

And they both fell asleep in a blissful haze. 

THERE YOU HAPPY I DID IT!! I WANT TO DIE  

There, I got that off my chest. I'm now going to take a shower, curl up into a ball, and cry.  

P.s. EEvee's boyfriend or Meowth's boyfriend, if you're reading this, trust me, it was more awkward to write it. I apologize and will be waiting behind the school dumpster to receive my beating I deserve.