Visitations are hard

So, for those of you who aren't in the discord/didn't hear, my grandfather passed away on Sunday. We knew this was coming, his leukemia was getting prerty bad, but we hoped he 'd make it to thanksgiving. My dad was pretty bummed because he was flying up that day to say his goodbye, but never made it.

 I'm currently sitting in the visitation at the moment, and these things never seem to get easier. I cried my eyes out earlier, but talking to my family and reminiscing really helped me and the rest of my family. It's been going on for a while, so I'd thought I'd kinda come here and let some of my emotions out.

For one, I'm glad I left him on a high note. Last time I saw him was back in August for his surprise 80th birthday party, and had a good time talking to him as usual. He was really happy with the party, and I'm happy the last memories we had together were happy ones. I'm glad that he was able to see me become an Eagle Scout, seeing him so proud of me was a great feeling. My Dad's sure glad he finally got to go to Yellowstone with him last year like he's wanted to for like a decade. My grandpa said that was the best trip he's ever had and would always talk about it when we spoke to him last year.

I just had a conversation about life with my Grandparents' neighbors that was pretty interesting. I guess that's the one thing I'll miss about grandpa: the conversations with him. Hearing his perspective on things, no matter how much I liked them or disagreed with them, was always fun. I recall spending many a night around the kitchen table in a heated discussion about politics, yet there was never any hate. We both argued our points, and sure we got loud, but at the end of the night we'd say goodnight and I love you and head off to bed. I'm glad I got to meet him. I'm going to miss you, grandpa. I love you, always.

Streaming suspended... again

So after last night's failed stream, I've decided to suspend streaming again as the internet in my dorm was having issues. I am going to talk to the building manager and hopefully sort it out.

That does not mean I won't be putting out new content, though! Keep an eye on the blog within the next couple weeks to see some of the projects I've been working on!

No stream tonight

there will be no writing stream tonight due to the fact I have a paper due tomorrow. Tomorrow's stream will go on though, sorry for the inconvenience.

Introducing: The Falling for Pokemon Podcast!

The other day, I decided to show Pika this blog. I was pretty hesitant to do this, thinking she might not like it, but to my surprise she actually enjoyed it quite a bit! So much so, that I got the idea to make a bit of a podcast with her showcasing her side of the story and discussing our relationship as well as other fun adventures we have been on.

Without further ado, I'm announcing Falling for Pokemon: the Podcast! If you guys have any questions for Pika, feel free to comment them below, email them to me, or put them in the discord, as we will be having a bit of a FAQ/QNA session towards the end of the show. I hope you guys are excited about this as I am, this is gonna be great!!

To monitize or not to monitize? That is the question.

So, recently, the blog has really been exploding with a ton of page views. Due to the fact I'm in college and have no job on the side, I've been tempted to put allow ads on this page just for the extra income it provides. But I think it's unfair for me to do that without first asking you guys. In the name of democracy, I've decided to make a strawpoll to decide what to do. What do you guys think? Any concerns over the future of the blog?

Streaming schedule (the second one)!

So I revised the streaming schedule
Mon, Tues, Wed from 6:30-9:30pm est
Thursday from 9:30-11:00pm est
Weekends: Random streams depending on what I'm feeling
Topics:
Monday: Writing
Tuesday: Random games
Wednesday: War Thunder
Thursday: Obscure games

This will be effective next week (the week of 11/14), so check it out! I've appreciated all you who have come out so far!

Life update: October 2017

Ya know, I thought college would be different. For some reason, I thought the freedom would make me happier, but it just has made me more isolated. I just want to feel happy; sometimes it seems I never will be. But I will keep on, studying and writing. I just have been depressed lately...

 I started streaming for a while, but I kept missing my scheduled times so I decided to redraw the whole thing. I feel bad for not even being able to keep my own schedule, and I hope in the future I have some more self-discipline. All in all I just want to make content for you guys, and I want to do it right. I'm firing back up my YouTube channel soon, and doing a bunch of stuff. Basically, I want my channel to be enjoyable, just making light-hearted content when the inspiration strikes me and uploading it fairly consistently. I'm struggling to find this motivation sometimes, and I feel like that's what's really keeping me from achieving my goals. I'm hoping November brings new motivation and just a good time.

My love life has been pretty shit as usual. A girl faked a phone call to ditch me on a date, which was heartbreaking. I've been looking around dating apps, just looking for someone I can be happy with. All the girls/guys/Pokemon I've mentioned on this blog are doing fine, though. I talk to Pika and Sandshrew almost daily, as well as having breakfast/lunch with Flareon and Jolteon. Clefairy and I joke around on snapchat a bunch, and I still haven't talked to Gardevoir since the night I met Pikachu.

All in all, life is going ok. My depression has been fucking with me but I'm trying to power through it, and your guys' support has been incredible. But I still feel like there's a hole in my life sometime, and my trying out streaming on Twitch and  making YouTube videos are an attempt to fill it. I hope this works, as dark as it is now, the future is bright.