Letters from Pika

So, a while ago, Pika sent me this super cute letter. Pika, if you're reading this, thank you so much. You don't know how much it means to me to get something as awesome as this. I love you, my adorable attack kitty!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

It's been an awesome year with you guys! From the bottom of my heart, thanks for everything :D
Expect a couple more posts here tonight! Got some cute tidbits about Pika I'd like to share. Stay tuned!

I'm in a podcast!

Hey! I'm on this new podcast as a guest! Come check it out!

https://youtu.be/VdLlmpw3uIE

Life update: November 2017

November was an interesting month to say the least. I'm still on Tinder talking to all kinds of people, though nothing much has come out of that.  I still play magic on fridays and my grades still aren't the best. Pima and I still talk and are trying to figure out the podcast, and I'm still trying to finish 9 years by Christmas.
I still hate myself though. I've tried to convince myself I'm a good person by helping people like Ryan, but it's still so hard. Mankey and all the other kids just convinced me I was sub-human at such a young age it's hard to recover. I feel broken beyond repair. I just want to go back in time and live a childhood where I didn't have to worry about people trying to stab me or shit on me all the time. All I want is to be normal, but I can't have that. It's a never ending fight between my ghosts of my past and I. The worst part is, I know Mankey or Archanine won't give a shit about it in 20-30 years, but I'll never forget the pain.

A fellow bro needs our help

Link to the gofundme:

https://www.gofundme.com/jt48f7-homeless-man-needs-help

Any help is appreciated, we all know how hard it is to be alone, that's why I made this blog in the first place. Let's show him he's not alone.

The tale of Perry

I realized in recent times I haven't really posted a greentext only on the blog, so I decided to tell you a great story I should have told you a long time ago: the tale of Perry.

>be me
>be working at grocery store summer job
>it's alright, most the customers are fine
>some are annoying as fuck
>and some are awesome
>Perry was type number 3
>Old war veteran, pushing 90
>Always wore a USS John F Kennedy hat
>He was missing a few teeth, so it was a bit hard to understand him
>but his humor was in tact
>we'd always joke about some of the more stuck-up people at the store
>met everyone with a salute
>Every day around 4 he'd come in
>And buy 2 salmon cakes
>Not crab cakes, mind you
>Salmon cakes
>He thought the crab cakes didn't have enough crab
>he was right.webm
> Is make sure to pick out the best one for him
>Usually that meant going to the back looking for a fresh box
>But honestly it was worth braving the freezer because he honestly made my day most of the time
>after I got him the goods, he usually gave me some pretty good green tea
>always said it's the reason he lived so long
>then he'd go off and talk to people in other departments
>he was pretty well known and liked around the store
>he'd talk to everyone
>just a friendly nice dude
>a breath of fresh air after getting yelled at all day by people who are mad they had to wait 2 minutes for some ground beef
>As summer came to a close, I decided to do something nice for him
>the salmon cakes came in frozen boxes of 48
>they keep pretty well frozen, so I hatch a plan
>talk to my seafood guy
>ask him for a whole box
>he's confused but thinks it's just for a party
>Now, for the next part to make sense, for the longest time, I thought his name was Harry
>I wrote a note thanking him
>Saying he made my day
>Included my phone number
>If you need anything call me!
>Wrote Harry on the front
>The next day
>Finishing up with a customer
>Perry comes up 
>Tell him I have something for him
>Give him the box of Salmon cakes
>His face lights up
>He thanks me a ton
>Tell him no problem
>Says it'll last him till Christmas
>Gives me two packets of tea this time
>He happily goes on his way
>And that was the end of it
>Ooor so I thought
>The next day, he shows up
>Hands me a bag and says
>I had to return the favor
>Pic Related
>Open it
>Find his card
>Read it
>OMG HIS NAME WAS PERRY
>Shit.jpg
>Realize I'm an idiot
>But looking at all the kind things he wrote
>I don't think he cared
>Gave me a Marx brothers CD collection
>Wished me well in college
>Honestly one of the nicest things anyone has done for me

Visitations are hard

So, for those of you who aren't in the discord/didn't hear, my grandfather passed away on Sunday. We knew this was coming, his leukemia was getting prerty bad, but we hoped he 'd make it to thanksgiving. My dad was pretty bummed because he was flying up that day to say his goodbye, but never made it.

 I'm currently sitting in the visitation at the moment, and these things never seem to get easier. I cried my eyes out earlier, but talking to my family and reminiscing really helped me and the rest of my family. It's been going on for a while, so I'd thought I'd kinda come here and let some of my emotions out.

For one, I'm glad I left him on a high note. Last time I saw him was back in August for his surprise 80th birthday party, and had a good time talking to him as usual. He was really happy with the party, and I'm happy the last memories we had together were happy ones. I'm glad that he was able to see me become an Eagle Scout, seeing him so proud of me was a great feeling. My Dad's sure glad he finally got to go to Yellowstone with him last year like he's wanted to for like a decade. My grandpa said that was the best trip he's ever had and would always talk about it when we spoke to him last year.

I just had a conversation about life with my Grandparents' neighbors that was pretty interesting. I guess that's the one thing I'll miss about grandpa: the conversations with him. Hearing his perspective on things, no matter how much I liked them or disagreed with them, was always fun. I recall spending many a night around the kitchen table in a heated discussion about politics, yet there was never any hate. We both argued our points, and sure we got loud, but at the end of the night we'd say goodnight and I love you and head off to bed. I'm glad I got to meet him. I'm going to miss you, grandpa. I love you, always.

Streaming suspended... again

So after last night's failed stream, I've decided to suspend streaming again as the internet in my dorm was having issues. I am going to talk to the building manager and hopefully sort it out.

That does not mean I won't be putting out new content, though! Keep an eye on the blog within the next couple weeks to see some of the projects I've been working on!

No stream tonight

there will be no writing stream tonight due to the fact I have a paper due tomorrow. Tomorrow's stream will go on though, sorry for the inconvenience.

Introducing: The Falling for Pokemon Podcast!

The other day, I decided to show Pika this blog. I was pretty hesitant to do this, thinking she might not like it, but to my surprise she actually enjoyed it quite a bit! So much so, that I got the idea to make a bit of a podcast with her showcasing her side of the story and discussing our relationship as well as other fun adventures we have been on.

Without further ado, I'm announcing Falling for Pokemon: the Podcast! If you guys have any questions for Pika, feel free to comment them below, email them to me, or put them in the discord, as we will be having a bit of a FAQ/QNA session towards the end of the show. I hope you guys are excited about this as I am, this is gonna be great!!

To monitize or not to monitize? That is the question.

So, recently, the blog has really been exploding with a ton of page views. Due to the fact I'm in college and have no job on the side, I've been tempted to put allow ads on this page just for the extra income it provides. But I think it's unfair for me to do that without first asking you guys. In the name of democracy, I've decided to make a strawpoll to decide what to do. What do you guys think? Any concerns over the future of the blog?

Streaming schedule (the second one)!

So I revised the streaming schedule
Mon, Tues, Wed from 6:30-9:30pm est
Thursday from 9:30-11:00pm est
Weekends: Random streams depending on what I'm feeling
Topics:
Monday: Writing
Tuesday: Random games
Wednesday: War Thunder
Thursday: Obscure games

This will be effective next week (the week of 11/14), so check it out! I've appreciated all you who have come out so far!

Life update: October 2017

Ya know, I thought college would be different. For some reason, I thought the freedom would make me happier, but it just has made me more isolated. I just want to feel happy; sometimes it seems I never will be. But I will keep on, studying and writing. I just have been depressed lately...

 I started streaming for a while, but I kept missing my scheduled times so I decided to redraw the whole thing. I feel bad for not even being able to keep my own schedule, and I hope in the future I have some more self-discipline. All in all I just want to make content for you guys, and I want to do it right. I'm firing back up my YouTube channel soon, and doing a bunch of stuff. Basically, I want my channel to be enjoyable, just making light-hearted content when the inspiration strikes me and uploading it fairly consistently. I'm struggling to find this motivation sometimes, and I feel like that's what's really keeping me from achieving my goals. I'm hoping November brings new motivation and just a good time.

My love life has been pretty shit as usual. A girl faked a phone call to ditch me on a date, which was heartbreaking. I've been looking around dating apps, just looking for someone I can be happy with. All the girls/guys/Pokemon I've mentioned on this blog are doing fine, though. I talk to Pika and Sandshrew almost daily, as well as having breakfast/lunch with Flareon and Jolteon. Clefairy and I joke around on snapchat a bunch, and I still haven't talked to Gardevoir since the night I met Pikachu.

All in all, life is going ok. My depression has been fucking with me but I'm trying to power through it, and your guys' support has been incredible. But I still feel like there's a hole in my life sometime, and my trying out streaming on Twitch and  making YouTube videos are an attempt to fill it. I hope this works, as dark as it is now, the future is bright.

The Grand Prix Imgur link

Here is an imgur link to the new story if you guys didn't see it already

Thread is up!

Hop on in guys!
http://boards.4chan.org/tg/thread/56136579

Grand Prix postponed to Sunday And ammendments to stream schedule coming soon

Due to the fact I got sucked into playing Elite Dangerous last night, I'll go ahead and post the Grand Prix to /tg/ at 10 est tonight. I apologize for my stupidity/addictive personality.

The streaming schedule is also going to be amended. I just can't seem to be able to stream Saturday and Sunday mornings. More than likely those will be moved to the afternoon.

Sorry for all the confusion, and see you guys too!

The Grand Prix posted on Saturday!

So, the greentext on my time at Grand Prix Orlando will be posted Saturday at 10pm est on the /tg/ board of 4 chan(since this story is a bit of a departure from the norm, I'm posting on /tg/ because I think it's more appropriate there). I wrote this on stream a while back and I hope you guys enjoy it! I'll see you there, and for those of you who don't make it, I'll grab a screen cap of it for ya! See you all then!  :)

Streaming schedule official

Hello all!
So I've been streaming the past week and I must say it has been a blast!
I revised my earlier schedule, and so this will be the official schedule I will be going off of from now on(note: all times are in Est):
Monday: Writing: 5-8pm
Wednesday: Gaming: 5-8pm
Saturday: Gaming: 10am-1pm
Sunday: Gaming: 10am-1pm
If there is any change in this schedule, I'll post it on here on this blog or on my discord announcements (Click here to join).
Writing on Part 3 is underway, be on the lookout for updates on that!

Monday's writing stream moved to tuesday

Due to scheduling conflicts, I am moving today's 5-8 stream to tomorrow. I apologize for the inconvenience, just trying to iron out my schedule. Thanks!

Today's stream canceled

due to scheduling conflicts I have decided to cancel today's stream. I do not know if tomorrow's stream will go through either, but Monday's certainly will

Thank you for 5,000 views!

Last night, I got bored and was checking my analytics, and I just realized this blog has passed over 5000 views! Whether you are new here or you've been here since the beginning, is like to say thank you! Thank you so much for listening to me, it means the world to me :)

Life update: September 2017

Life in college has been pretty easy so far. My classes aren't that hard, although I should really study more as I tend to get lazy and fall behind. Hell, I'm typing this in class so I'm already setting a bad example for myself. Oh well.

Tinder has been working pretty well for me. I made kind of a jokey profile and people seem to like it. I went on one date, although turns out she and Flareon hit it off more than her and I did, and now they have a thing. But hey, Flareon's happy, and I'm going on another date tomorrow.

So towards the end of the month I started streaming. It was fun, and I'm hoping to make this a regular thing. I'll be finishing up my sealed league on Mtgo on Saturday at 10pm est, and here is a tentative schedule moving forward:

Sunday 2-5pm est gaming stream
Monday 5-8pm est writing stream
Wednesday 5-8pm est gaming stream
Saturday 2-5pm est gaming stream

And that schedule is subject to change depending on what you guys like. I'll mostly be playing games like Planetside 2, War Thunder, Mtgo, PUBG, Rocket League, Overwatch and whatever else I can get my hands on. Sometimes I'll play by myself, sometimes with friends (namely Flareon and Jolteon). The writing streams I will not be writing for 9 years part 3 (as I want to keep that one a surprise for you guys ;) ), but rather another story I plan to post to /tg/ when finished called "Grand Prix Pokemon", detailing my experience at the Grand Prix Orlando and how Magic: The Gathering has helped me finally feel accepted somewhere.

Pikachu and all the rest are doing fine. I saw Sandshrew the other day and went roller skating with her, Raichu, and another friend. Sandshrew is still as adorable as I remember. We had a great time watching me fall down like a dumbass and take out some poor children. It was her birthday the other day, and I wanted to gift her overwatch but she was hesitant to accept it, mostly cuz I have no money now that I'm in college. We finally made a deal that I'll buy it for her when it goes on sale round Christmas, so I guess everyone wins! Clefairy is still around, her and I joke around on Snapchat mostly, I think she's dating someone but to be honest I'm fine with just being her friend. Speaking of dating, aperently the other day was national boyfriend day or something. Pika posted a bunch of stuff of her and Machamp on her instagram, which, not gonna lie, hurt. I don't know why but sometimes I feel like I'm still hung up on her, I'm just afraid I've missed my chance and no one will make me feel the way she makes me feel...

Streaming

So I've decided to start streaming random games with friends just for fun. Join up if you'd like!

https://www.twitch.tv/kaanfight

Imgur link to 9 years a Pokémon part 2

here is the Imgur link to 9 years part 2, enjoy!

THREAD IS UP BOYOS

http://boards.4chan.org/r9k/thread/40103692

It's done! Part 2 Tommorow night at 10!

Nine years is going up on /r9k/ 10 pm est tomorrow night!!
I'll screencap it after the thread 404s, and put it on Imgur.
See you guys there!!

9 years part 1

Here is the imgur link to part 1, sorry that part 2 is taking so long!

9 years part 1

And here is the discord link for those that haven't joined but want to

Discord!

Life update: August 2017

August was a hell of a month. First off, I moved away to college, and not much has changed. Classes are pretty easy, I just have to make sure I actually study and not slack off. My roommate is pretty chill, he's like me the very "keep your head down" kind of guy, although he does party a bit more than I do. As far as my job, I finally had my last day around a month ago, and its been quite relaxing having time off.

The big event of the month (although not technically in august) was definitely Irma. Not only did it kinda throw a wrench in my writing plans, but it also canceled all my classes this week. My family was fortunately ok, and so was Pika's family fortunately. It was just kind of, jarring to know that my entire house, my entire family, my entire life could be wiped away by a single weather event.

On the love front, I got a tinder. I'm actually kind of surprised how many matches I've had. Although dates... are another story. So far I've gone on two dates, one of which didn't show, and the other liked my friend more than me. I guess that's just my luck?

On 9 years, I'll be honest, I have  no idea when the fuck it's going to be finished. Every time I write I remember something else and have to go on another tangent in order for things to make sense. For now, in another post, I'll throw up an imgur link to part one and the discord for those who haven't joined.

So tl;dr, 9 years is coming sometime, irma was bad, pika and all the other people are doing fine.

Game plan

Its been a while since my last update, but here is my game plan: I'm moving into my dorm room tomorrow, and if all goes well I will be done with 9years tonight and post the thread tomorrow. Then, hopefully I can get part 3 out next week. Thanks for waiting, I'm trying to make it worthwhile for you guys!

Life Update: July 2017

July was really quite depressing for me. For starters, the fact that Pika wasn't coming killed me inside, and work made me miserable. I did a bunch of college stuff, but I still need to contact my roommate.

One thing that's been bothering me is my mother. She's been getting more and more pissy st me latley, barley wanting to talk to me. To be honest, I really don't care that much since I like being left alone and not harassed, but it still hurts to think that she truly hates me. I don't know, she's always trying to make me feel guilty about everything I do and makes huge mountains out of molehills, but all I can think about is college, pika, and work.

Work day on Friday!!!

So Friday is first day I've had off from work/am not doing anything in a while! I'll be working on 9 years part 2 then, and hopefully part 3 will come out soon after, being much quicker to write because it is fresher in my mind. Regardless, at the very least expect the July life update tomorrow!

Another day another deadline

so obviously Thursday didn't work out as far as deadlines go, I'm almost done with 9 years. but I'm currently out of town. I'm sorry for all the delays and excuses, life just tends to get in the way of everything. I'm hoping next week I can get it out. I hope you guys arnt too mad at me! Thanks for sticking with me through this, it really means a ton!!

Thursday

Writing has been going well on 9 years, but I randomly have to work Wednesday and I can't make the final changes I need to to make 9 years great. I'm moving the deadline to thursday, and I'm hoping to stick to that. I'm excited to see what you guys think though!

Update on 9 years

Sorry I've been out of contact for a bit, 9 years part 2 was supposed to be up two days ago and obviously that didn't happen. I apologize for delaying it again, but I'm going to have to delay it until Wednesday of next week. Work has gotten me more wiped out than usual unfortunately and I'm still having trouble keeping myself organized, but if you hear with me, I'll promise I'll come through.

Tommorrow

It appears procrastination has gotten the better of me. I will finish part two of 9 years a pokemon tomorrow. Sorry for the delay again!

Next thread wednesday 7/26

Next thread for 9 years a pokemon on wednesday!

Life update: June 2017

June was 2 things: work and sleep. Pika told me she was going to come up in mid July, but she got sick and couldn't come. I miss her dearly, I really wished this trip worked out :(

Tons of college stuff was done, I had a huge scare with my class schedule because for some reason the system didn't enroll me into any classes. That was fun. I'm a little scared for college, I'm afraid I'll be alone as usual and just another outcast. I'm trying to get myself out there more, but it gets harder and harder.

Nothing really much has happened on the romance front. I've just been trying to meet new people. Part of me wants to go on tinder, but I'm just afraid I'll get more depressed at the rejection I might have there. Or I could have a great relationship, which makes me want to do it. But as far as college is concerned, I just want to keep my head down and study.

Next thread sometime next week

Hello guys! I've decided to post the next part of 9 years some time next week, depending on what days I have off. I should have an idea of when I want to post it by saturday. Stay tuned! I hope you guys are enjoying it so far! When all the threads are archived, I'll post the screecaps up on here, imgur, and reddit.

Thread is up!

I've decided to split my story into three parts, since I was unable to write everything I wanted down in the first one.  Here is the first thread, I'll post it on imgur in it's entirety when it dies I'll see you guys next week for the next one!

http://boards.4chan.org/r9k/thread/38290317

Moved to Monday July 10

After some shenanigans at work, I've moved back the release date to Monday at 11pm, since I'm not working then. I apologize for moving it back again, thank you guys for understanding!

Delay

9 years will be posted on the 8th at approximately 11pm. I apologize for the setback, some unexpected things came up at work.

To make it up to you guys, here is the link to the discord server early:

 https://discord.gg/vcQYRyj

It still needs some work and I want to add some bots, but now we can all have a good time together. Again, I apologize for the delay, you guys are awesome, I hope this makes up for it!

Possible delay

I just got called into work unexpectedly today. I might have to delay posting the story for a while. I'm sorry for the wait. Stay tuned for updates.

9 years a Pokémon sneak peek (release on 7/6/17)

It's almost done! After writing furiously, I am almost done with my second longtext, longer than my first one. I'll throw it up on r9k on July 6, the day before the one year anniversary of Ghastly's death. Theexact time is tba. Here's a sneak preview of my fifth grade birthday party and one of the character bios. Enjoy!


I don't know exactly when I met Flareon. Kindergarten was so long ago, my memory gets hazy. I just know we were inseparable. We both loved Star Wars, and some of my best memories are of him and I playing battle front 2 and Blazing Angels. We would play Star Wars and other games on the playground. I loved being Mace Windu, and he was always obi wan. Two Jedi, fighting the forces of evil on the jungle gym, thwarting the empire's advance on the slide. 

Our parents also hit it off. Margaritaville played constantly at my house when Flareon's  parents were over, with margaritas to boot. 

>My fifth grade birthday party was going to be a doozy. 

>The plan was to invite every boy in my grade, all 28 of them, to a massive pool party. 

>First we'd play airsoft, then we'd go to the pool. 

>Greatplan.webm

>Maybe this will turn my fate around. 

>The party was going to be so huge, people would talk about it for ages.

>Flareon's mom and my mom were going to chaperone. 

>The day came 

>on the car ride home I was visibly anxious. >get home

>to my surprise a couple of the kids were already there. 

>all suited up with automatic guns and high tech, co2 powered, all metal sniper rifles.

>press f to cower in fear

>picked up my small spring powered sniper rifle, my Walmart smg and started to fill up on pellets. >

Me being the birthday boy, I got to be a captain along with Pidgey. 

>We chose teams. 

>Time for war

>From the first shots it was utter chaos. >Pellets flying everywhere, people huddled together behind wooden barricades, men in masks peeking out from the bushes to fire at anything that moved.

 >I quickly took up a position at the porch. >My sister comes creeping around the corner

>Shoot her in the back

 >She wanders back to base

 >defeated. 

>Surprisingly they aren't targeting me like I thought they would

>like they had before. I tried to peek around a corner of a hedge

>SNAP! 

>I'm hit, leaving a rosy welt on the back of my hand. 

>MAN DOWN MAN DOWN

>I put my hands up and go back to base. 

>On the way back, some of the boys thought it would be fun to shoot at a defeated me. 

>They nailed me in the chest. 

>Out of breath, I scream for them to stop

, >they have a good laugh and finally comply. 

>Perhaps things won't change after all. 

>I make my way back to that same position. 

>"5minutes!" My mom calls. 

>I'm still sitting in my bush when I hear screaming from my right. 

>It's Mankey. 

>He's trapped behind a barricade, under heavy fire.

> It was so intense, I thought it was going to collapse. 

>He was trying to fire back, but if he poked out he would be hit. 

>He tried to surrender and go back to base, >everyone just kept laughing and shooting. 

>Tears welled up in his eyes.

> I felt conflicted. 

>Here was the man who tortured me for years crying out in desperation

>in a situation in which he would surely have mocked me for crying if I were in

> yet I couldn't help but feel sorry for the guy. 

>Finally my mom called time and the shooting stopped. 

>Mankey crawled out and tried to act as manly as possible. 

>Next up was the pool. 

>Zubat was one of the first ones in, jumping in enthusiastically

>His face of joy soon turned to terror when in midair he realized his phone was in his pocket. 

>dumbass

>He landed and sprinted back out, desperate for some rice.

> Sadly it was not enough, and the phone died at the scene. 

>Press f to pay respects

>The two moms were breathing down our necks 

>explained the rules 

>only Flareon and I would listen to them

> We found a ball, and decided to play keep away. 

>Maybe they'll let me have it, since it was my party after all.

>I hold my hands up, waving desperately for the ball. 

>It soared over my head

>before I could catch it, koffing

grabbed it from over me. 

>As usual, I was the monkey in the middle. >Again, it got crazy really quick.

> Dunking people under water

> punching

> kicking 

>throwing 

>all used to fight for control of the ball. >Being as scrawny as I was, I couldn't compete. 

>Quickly, I was relegated to watching the game rather than participating. 

>Even at my own birthday party

> I was on the sidelines. 

>My mom decided it was getting too rough, >broke up the game. 

>We had cake, 

>sat around 

>talked. 

>Just like at the lunch table

>conversation skipped around between mocking me, Flareon, or someone else. 

>The party quickly ended 

>I had a bad taste in my mouth

> For as much as I wanted things to change

>I knew deep down they would stay the same

Life update: May 2017

Sorry for the late update, but here goes. May was a hard month. Between work and graduation I was also overwhelmed. Thankfully I got some adderall from my doctor and that helped me to keep track of everything. Sandshrew just got back from Ireland but she's been kinda distant lately, not sure how I feel about that. Clefairy just kinda posts shit on Snapchat, looks like she got a boyfriend. A girl at my work, lets call her Butterfree, has been really nice to me lately. She always gives me cookies from the bakery, and she really appreciated it when I bought her a brownie. She's super sweet, but she's in a long distance relationship, so I don't really want to mess with that. Besides, she's just being nice, she doesn't like me in a romantic sense I'm afraid.

Big news with Pika! She wants to come up mid July. I'm SUPER excited and already started planning everything out. I'm planning on giving her another care package, I'll post more on that later.

9 years is coming soon. I'll link the /r9k/ thread when it's up. Im also launching the discord then, so that'll be fun. Hope you guys are enjoying this blog as much as I am!  I'm excited to see where it goes. Thanks for everything anons!

Liking the changes?

I decided to ramp up the blog a little bit and change some things around. You guys enjoying the changes? I enjoy your feedback, so here's a strawpoll.

In other news, I'm working on 9 years, and I'll tell you guys when I'm going to put that on /r9k/
I'm also making a discord just so we can all be a little less lonley. It should be up pretty soon, but I'm just preparing it at the moment.

Ghosts of the past

I saw your mom today. She always seemed happy, same with you das, but ever since the accident there has been this somberness about them. I talked to her about graduation and college, I'm sorry you didn't get to experience that. I can't believe I haven't talked to you in a year. I should have played cards with you last time, I'm sorry. Im so sorry for not giving you your shirts back, I'm sorry for being selfish. Goddamn it I iced you man! I miss your handshake and smile. Why? Why did you have to cross then? Two more seconds could have meant 40 more years. You were the embodiment of everything good in the world, and with your passing that has died in me too. I saw an f4u by your grave. I wish I could nerd out with you about planes, about history. Hell, even about Star Wars like the good old times. I miss you, and our drifting apart hurts me all the more. Maybe one day I'll finally do it, I'll finally tie that noose and join you. Until then, I'll work, and I'll try not to let the sadness through. We all loved you, my friend.

I posted that letter about ghastly on /r9k/ last night in a letter writing thread. I was just so overcome with emotion, as the last time I saw him was a year ago today. His mom was at my graduation party, and we talked. She seemed sad yet very loving twords me. It's like I'm one of the last parts of her son. Her son that never got to graduate, go to college, and live life. I'm sorry ghastly.... I really really sorry

A conversation with a Co-Worker

>Be me
>Work at supermarket
>Closing time
>No one is around
>Store is empty
>Closing down the meat department
>Already cleaned all my stuff up
>Meat cutter is closing with me
>Let's call him Paras
>Paras is a dude in his 50s
>Kinda crazy
>Really fun guy to work with
>Sometimes decides to juggle balls of meat
>Very casual, go with the flow kinda guy
>Apparently a huge drug dealer back in the day
>Retired
>He returned to meat cutting because it "called to him"
>Decide to ask him if he wanted to be a meat cutter as a kid
>"No, but I already lived my childhood dream"
>I ask him what that was about
>Paras said it was to play baseball
>Apparently he played baseball for the Padres for a couple of years
>Used meat cutting to help pay for his expences
>He was mostly on the practice team, but still did some stuff
>Quit when his kids were born
>He started talking about his wife
>His highschool sweetheart
>Married for 20 years
>He goes silent
>He starts talking about one of his kids
>She was born with spina bifida and cerebral palsy 
>I glace at him for a moment
>I can see the pain in his eyes
>I almost ask him if she's doing ok, but he answers that for me
>"She died when she was 9" paras says solemnly
>Silence
>"I guess I really never got over it"
>Think back to Ghastly
>Tell him most people never get over the death of a loved one
>Tell him about Ghastly and his affect on me
>He understands
>We know each other's pain
>The pain of loss only death can provide
>Want to lighten up the topic
>Talk to him more about his wife
>He goes quiet again
>"I walked in on her cheating on me" 
>This man's highschool sweetheart of 20 years
>Cheats on him in front of his eyes
>Gets pregnant
>Paras said he walked out after that
>His other kids understand
>Divorce happens
>That was 9 years ago
>After a couple years of retirement he comes back to meat cutting
>A couple years later I meet him
>His story hit me hard
>This man, living the time of his life
>Living the dream
>Playing baseball
>Having the girl he loved
>Having a wonderful family
>Crushed by reality
>Yet he continues to smile and joke around
>It all makes sense now
>Paras is the sad clown
>Always trying to make people laugh
>So one day, he can forget the pain
>We close up
>We walk out
>The next day he's back to his usual self
>Jolly, always cracking jokes
>But I see the cracks
>I can never unsee the cracks

Life update: April 2017

It's been a long stressful month for me. Between exams, work, the play, I haven't posted much. Don't worry though! I haven't forgotten about you guys.

So let's get down to business. In April, my school put on a play. It's a little strange that this could possibly be my last production, as I wasn't too excited for it. And then I fucked up, big time. I turned my request off days into work at the wrong place, and they scheduled me all week. Shit. Eventually I got that fixed, but that whole debacle sucked ass.
Work has been ok, there's been some interesting moments with my coworkers. Though, I do work around 31 hours a week, so you best believe I'm tired.

I also got put on adderall the other day. It's been pretty good at keeping me concentrated and focused. I am a little worried about taking meds, as I've heard so many horror stories about addiction and death because of them.

On the love front, not much has changed. Pika's sister's birthday is coming up, and I'm hoping to try to cheer her up somehow, she always feels down on that day. I think I'll try to send her a care package, just to make sure she's ok. It's kinda sad actually, at this point her sister has been dead longer than she was alive. On the Clefairy front, nothing much happened. We talk every now and then but it's just small talk. Sandshrew, on the other hand, is a whole different story. We've been talking more, joking around and just having a good time. She seems enthusiastic when I ask her out to lunch sometimes, but she gets kinda disappointed when she realizes she's doing something. I hope that works out, I've been really happy when I'm with her and she makes me feel great. She's pretty fucking awesome, I can only hope she thinks I'm ok. I'm having a party for color guard and percussion tomorrow, who knows, maybe something will happen? Probably not, either way I'm going to enjoy myself because I'm with her.

Life Update: March 2017

March was a doozy for me. The first half of the month, while I was on spring break, I decided to get a job. I found one at a local grocery store in the meat department, and it's been absolutely soul sucking. But, at the very least, I like my co-workers, and it gives me some good stories of terrible customers to share with you guys. The second half of the month was taken up by color guard stuff. I am still friends with sandshrew, the lesbian, but I don't things are going to work out between her and I. She's still a great person, but she's just not into me. But hey, you lose some and you win some. Speaking of winning some, my guard team got 2nd place overall in our division in competition! Yet, there is much  more than that. At championships I saw this really cute girl, let's call her Clefairy, who just so happened to be on the team that beat us. I decided "why the hell not" and simply walked up to her, congratulated her, told her she was attractive, and asked for her number. She was rather flattered and impressed by my confidence, but she could only give me her instagram. Fortunately, through instagram, I was able to get her snapchat and we've been talking every day ever since. One of the most intriguing things is that on her instagram, she had pictures of her and her ex-boyfriend. At the time, I didn't know if she was currently dating this guy, so I casually brought it up, and she told me that they broke up like a week before. Curiously, the next day ALL photos of her ex were taken off of  Clefairy's instagram. I don't know if that had anything to do with me, but if it did, that's a VERY good sign. I've talked to pika a little over the month, she still cares about me deeply she says and she's still dating Machamp. Our conversations have devolved into us telling each other "I miss you," which I don't mind because it's true: I miss her. I was hoping she'd come up for spring break but it looks as if that is not happening. I don't know, pika continues to perplex me sometimes. Until next time, I'll keep you guys updated on Clefairy. Who knows what the future may hold?

Echoes of the past

March 31 is truly a bittersweet day for me. "Why?", you ask? Well shut the  fuck up and I'll tell you why! You see kids, three years ago, on march 31 2014, clone wars adventures shut down. "What the hell is that?" "Why is that important?" "Are you a faggot?", you cry, to which I reply STOP ASKING SO MANY QUESTIONS!

Now, where was I? Oh yes, clone wars adventures (or cwa for short) was an MMO game in which you got to play with characters from the tv show of the same name. I used to play that game religiously as a child, I had a lifetime membership, had bought almost every single item in game, and had over 10000 friends. I remember showing people my rare droids and items, it felt amazing. It really got me interested in gaming. Of course, it was really one of the only things that got me through all the harassment and bullying at school. In real life I was a loser, in game I was Dex Extra! Leader of the E.C.G. Crime fighter and all around bad ass! I actually wrote a lot of fiction around my character and posted it online. I still look back and laugh at what a Mary Sue Dex was, and how shitty my writing was. Granted, CWA had its faults, but I was heartbroken when it was shut down. It was what got me through the day half the time. All those boy-scout camp outs of just doing dishes because everyone else forced me to, all those times when people would abuse me, it was all worth it because later I could get on and play CWA.

Clone wars adventures had its faults, it was a rather generic MMO, but to me, it will always and forever be my favorite game.

P.s., if anyone has played this game, or know someone who has, or known me in this game, or, hell, even had a similar experice with a game, I would love to get into a Skype call and shoot the shit. I always love hearing people's stories, and I believe everyone should have someone to listen to theirs.

Fanfiction

So, the other day a couple of friends of mine were shooting the shit in color guard class, and we got to joking about me writing erotic fan fiction about them. This of course devolved into me actually going through with it on their request, so I decided to change their names (to pokemon of course) and post it up here. (And yes, that is the same Raichu from the greentext)

Obviously, very NSFW

I would like to start with a prayer for our souls so we do not burn in the fires of hell  

Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen 

And now, I tell a tale of gratuitous sex and smut. May God have mercy on us.... 

It was a thick, sticky, sweltering summer day at Meowth's house. She fanned herself to try to keep cool. The air conditioner had been broken for weeks and no one could seem to be able to fix it. "Ug, it's so damn hot in here," Eevee said, taking off her shirt to try to remain cool. "I know, I told my mom to find someone to fix it but she said she already did," Meowth responded, already out of her clothes. It was normal for the two friends to be in their undergarments around each other, yet there was an odd tension in the air neither of them could quite put their fingers on. Eevee plopped down next to her scantily clad friend as Meowth browsed snapchat. She peered over Meowth's shoulder to see whom the girl was stalking at that moment. Pictures rolled past like slideshows; people out with friends, fluffy kittens, stupid inane memes all flashed before their eyes. But one image seemed to be burned in both their memories. "Hang on," Eevee pleaded, "Go back to Raichu's story." Meowth frantically scrolled back, knowing full well why her friend was so enamored by this particular story. She finally opened it, and on it was only one picture: a scantily clad girl dressed in a cat costume. The duo both gazed in lust at the photo as the timer ticked down, before finally disappearing. "Go back again," Eevee demanded. This time, the two decided to screenshot the photo, even though they knew their  friend would soon find out about their scandalous deed. "She looks cute," Meowth purred. "More than cute," Eevee sighed. An awkward silence had befallen the friends as they stared starry eyed at their slutty little cat girl (Oh dear God I just vomited, but the show must go on!).  After a solid minute or so admiring the Asian's shapely body, Meowth suddenly noticed Eevee's breasts dangling behind her head. She was jealous of the redhead's natural size, yet she wished to do more with them than just use them as a pillow. She felt her head sink into the flesh, as Eevee's bra became more and more uncomfortable to wear. "Hey Meowth," Eevee said quietly. "What?" Meowth cooed. "You know how we always joke about being lesbians?" 

"Yeah" 

"I don't know, right now I just feel-" 

Eevee needed not say anything more. Meowth gazed into her deep blue eyes and unhooked her bra. Eevee's bosom spilled out, no longer caged by the undergarment. Meowth lustfully and playfully tweaked her nipple, which elicited a squeak from Eevee. Eevee could feel the heat in the room rising, but this heat didn't come from some faulty air conditioner. It was a burning, a gnawing in her loins, a need for satisfaction. Ferociously she tackled her friend, ripping off all her clothes. Meowth tried to scream, but all that came out was a sexual moan. Eevee slammed her lips into Meowth's face, and began to stick her tongue down her throat. Meowth felt choked, dominated, yet somehow she felt this was right. As Eevee's tongue trickled down Meowth's throat, Meowth's hand began to probe... other regions of her body. She felt her slit moisten as she let hand slip southward (I'm cringing so hard.... I'm so sorry). Meowth felt a welling, a building up in her very soul, begging for release. Eevee was feeling a similar yearning as she smothered her partner with her tongue. The two moaned in unison as they approached the tipping point. They could feel the heat  that eliminated from each other's bodies. They both cried out in a sudden burst of passion as they came with a noise so powerful it shook the room. The duo lay in a stupor for the next few moments, confused about the nature of this encounter, and suddenly remembering they were both in committed relationships.  

"Never talk abou-" 

"Agreed" 

And they both fell asleep in a blissful haze. 

THERE YOU HAPPY I DID IT!! I WANT TO DIE  

There, I got that off my chest. I'm now going to take a shower, curl up into a ball, and cry.  

P.s. EEvee's boyfriend or Meowth's boyfriend, if you're reading this, trust me, it was more awkward to write it. I apologize and will be waiting behind the school dumpster to receive my beating I deserve.