November was an interesting month to say the least. I'm still on Tinder talking to all kinds of people, though nothing much has come out of that. I still play magic on fridays and my grades still aren't the best. Pima and I still talk and are trying to figure out the podcast, and I'm still trying to finish 9 years by Christmas.
I still hate myself though. I've tried to convince myself I'm a good person by helping people like Ryan, but it's still so hard. Mankey and all the other kids just convinced me I was sub-human at such a young age it's hard to recover. I feel broken beyond repair. I just want to go back in time and live a childhood where I didn't have to worry about people trying to stab me or shit on me all the time. All I want is to be normal, but I can't have that. It's a never ending fight between my ghosts of my past and I. The worst part is, I know Mankey or Archanine won't give a shit about it in 20-30 years, but I'll never forget the pain.
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